While many women in this category may be okay with their lives, you still may want to have time set aside to find Mr. Right. But, as Liz Lampkin suggests, one of the best ways to ensure that you will be ready for The One, even if you decide that you are The One, is if you take time to work on yourself.
The author of “Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For?” says that one way to self-improvement is to ask yourself some vital questions. Here is an excellent list Lampkin compiled of questions every single women who wants more should ask herself.
1. Am I genuinely happy by myself?
If you can’t be happy by yourself, then how do you expect to be happy with someone else? Learn to be happy alone before seeking a mate, because chances are that no one will be able to lift your spirits like you can, and you shouldn’t expect anyone to.
2. Why am I still single?
Be honest with yourself and admit that you are not perfect. Evaluate what happened in your past relationships and what kind of person you are.
3. Am I taking full advantage of my single life?
Instead of being so focused on being coupled up, it is important to take time to learn who you really are, and enjoy the precious moments that come with being solo dolo. “Not only that, but we should build our careers, travel, serve in our purpose, get to know who we truly are and create a balance for ourselves until the time comes for us to be married…if it comes,” writes Lampkin.
4. What kind of relationships do I need and deserve?
If you are getting into relationships that you know are not fulfilling and/or making you into a better woman, it’s best for you to break things off now. Settling for anyone is doing yourself a major disservice. Know that you are valuable as a single woman, and wait for the partner that you desire and deserve.
5. What have I learned from each relationship?
Lampkin says that people come into our lives for a reason, and that reason is to learn something from them. Take the time to understand what you have learned from each of your relationships. If you haven’t learned anything, then the union was likely a waste of time.
6. Am I single because of me?
There may be a scary fact that you might need to face. This fact is that “you may not be a good person to be in a long-term relationship with,” Lampkin says. Based on how we treat others, it may be more difficult for some of us to get along with a partner well enough to maintain a serious union.
7. Am I ready to be someone’s wife?
Many women fantasize about a fairytale wedding, but forget that after the wedding comes the challenging part. Are you prepared to take on all the responsibilities that come with being someone’s wife, such as making sacrifices to maintain a happy, balanced household?
8. Am I confident enough in who I am to be okay with not getting married?
This can be a tough question to face, but it’s absolutely necessary in the event that you do not get married. Whatever your answer to this question may be, ask yourself why you answered the way you did. Do your best to retain the kind of peace that will allow you to be content with yourself no matter what happens down the road.
Lampkin says that taking time to answer these questions can bring you to an inner-peace that will serve you whether you find the love of your life or ride solo until the end. While taking these inquiries seriously is sure to lead to a better version of you that will be more suitable for a great relationship, it can also help you to be more in love with yourself and your life as a single person right now.